I’ve sat in front of this computer for close to two hours now thinking that eventually I would set down and write the epic words that world is just dying to hear. As usual, I’ve just sat around and done nothing. Or starred blankly at a the screen, checked my email 50 times, read ESPN, checked some old obscure links to web sites I haven’t look at in a while and listened to some music, becoming a little bit more convinced that Green Day’s “American Idiot” is a pretty damn good album. I’ve checked my work email as well. Why? Who knows, as it’s been a pretty shit and busy week. I’ve been depressed today…not sure completely why, but am pretty sure it might be e feeling sorry for myself again. It’s also been a battle with my past again…as in, my inability to realize what I have known is great and any time spent thinking about the past is time wasted. But, Things are undoubtedly different now. I need to write about this sometime…still. The fatherhood thing that is, the point now where everything is still the same surrounding-wise but with a completely different set of rules now. You may be happy know that my tip to the Frozen Four resolved itself at the last second to my advantage…and by you I mean Bones, who is probably the only person that reads this. I can’t blame him really. I’ve always been personally amused by the fact that this blog technically exists for anyone to see on this planet, but no one has. Not that I want anyone to…although that must be a lie, b/c I wouldn’t have this here if I didn’t, But I do…and still…no one knows its here. Life is fucking weird, always has been, but know, well, I just don’t know. Part of me wonders if the reality of the last half year is still trying to settle in. I mean, I had kid and the Red Sox won the series...so, pardon me if I’m still shell-shocked. Maybe my life hasn’t really been ground for the last few years and that plays into my uneasiness. I don’t know, maybe I’m looking for answers that don’t exists. Then again, I’m just trying to unload the shit that is in my head. I worry about my health. I’m not young anymore and people are dealing with shit they shouldn’t have. It’s odd that we live in time where I no longer worry about getting cancer, but wondering when I will; figuring that it is a forgone conclusion. Because, life is cruel…beautifully cruel. The pendulum may be the way, but I still say its life’s biggest cruelty is that time is decreasingly fractionally relative.