The job offer I’ve been waiting for came in today and of course, I’m not nearly as excited as I would like to be. The big reason for this…I haven’t formally accepted and remain in the negotiation limbo. The job does pay less than I made at my last job, but this is offset by the chance to earn a degree fro free. I just hope that I haven’t come off as trying to nickel and dime them. I don’t think I have; rather, I’ve just been trying to negotiate the best possible deal for a job I really want. I’m sure much like the column fiasco from a few entries prior, I will feel much better when I have accepted the job and ironed-out the details. And I will be accepting the job tomorrow leaving my actual start date as the only thing left up for negotiation. I just need two more weeks to finish some things up. Tomorrow, the rejoice can begin.

I was right. As soon as I saw that column in print I felt much better about things. The interview at Northeastern seems to have went good as well since I was called back for interview number two this Thursday. I'm nervous about it for many reasons. Some valid, others foolish. First and foremost, I want this job. It is exactly what I have been looking to do next. At the same time, I am a bit sheepish about my unemployment coming to end. It has been a good run, I just wish I had gotten more done.

The biggest thing I am worried about is the fact that my writing seems to be getting to a level of some success, at least in terms of publishing. I realize that one column does not a columnist make, but it has motivated me to write more columns for submission. I know I can't put the horse before the cart here, so I'll leave it at that.

A nice weekend looms as I'm in a very good friends wedding. I'm looking forward to that honor as well as seeing a lot of friends I don't see too often. And..the Sox are in the ALCS against the hated Yanks. All the makings of a great weekend on the horizon. Also, my first wedding anniversary is coming-up fast. Hard to believe it has been a year already.

You would think after catching a couple of much needed breaks in the job hunt I’d be feeling much better than I do. I finally heard back from a job I so desperately want at Northeastern and have a pending interview this coming Friday. I also heard that a column I wrote and submitted to the Boston Metro is most likely going to be published this Thursday. Still, I’m rather bummed and I think it actually relates to dealing with success.

If this column gets published it will be proof that my work this year writing columns on my own has paid off. It’s validation that I have the skills needed to write an interesting column and is one small step toward achieving my goal of becoming a columnist. And that is what scares me. I’m already worried about what I can come up with next. I’m worried that this small break will stymie me and I won’t be able to come up with good topics for future columns. I know, this sounds ridiculous, but too often in the past I have rested on laurels. To look at the optimistic side of this, it is good that I am worried about achieving such a placement again. Perhaps it is a sign that I have finally trained myself to know that becoming a successful writer means to keep writing. But here I sit sad. I think this will melt away when I finally see the piece in actual print. Until then….

The biggest thing eating at me regarding this column was that I nearly blew it due to my own ineptitude. The editor-in-chief of the Metro actually called me yesterday afternoon to inform me they wanted to run the piece but needed a picture. However, I didn’t check my message to midnight that night. It sent me into a panic. I scoured for any picture I may have of me and could only find a sutiable one of Tracy and I at our rehearsal dinner last year. I had to Photoshop her out of the picture to submit. This was at one in the morning. I followed with the editor this morning only to have to sit and wait to hear from him all day. It was nerve-wracking. I finally got a hold of him around six this evening and got the good news. Still, I almost blew it because I was too tired from the weekend to deal with real world stuff. Hopefully, this lesson in attention-to-detail will stick this time.

I know I need to revel in this achievement for a day, but then need to transfix myself on doing it again. Looking back at my goal of the year, I certainly can’t say I have churned out a ton of writing. But, I have written about a dozen and given all I have dealt with this yar, it’s a good step forward. My main goal was to develop a portfolio and for the most part I’ve gotten a good start on this. This potential publication is the realization of this. Now, I need to do it again and again…forever.

And in typing that last part, I realize I do feel good about this. If anything, this also serves that things don’t fall into your lap. They take work and I have worked harder at this goal more than any other year of my life. The lesson learned is I can do this. Maybe I am on my way.