I'm frustrated with myself once again and I have no to blame but myself. Nearly one month into my work hiatus and I've accomplished no where near what I intended. I've let myself get to lax. While I told myself I would take some downtime, I've stretched it too far. I think IT has had a lot to do with throwing me off. A lot of time to prep and even more to settle back into home. I did apply for a few jobs today and actually got on the treadmill for the first time in ages, but, no writing. I realize it was just 24 hours ago I decided I needed to make a marked change, but I'm beating myself up for lost time. And I can't do that because it's just that, lost time. I need, no I will get an early start tomorrow, relative to my usual waking time of late. Writing needs to be done.

This severance pay is going to be over sooner than I think as time keeps steamrolling ahead. Already out of work for two and a half weeks, I sit amazed at the speed with which the summer is cruising by. We are about a week into August, Pearl Jam is over, IT has come and gone and with most of my big summer plans behind me, I’m left looking toward fall. But not too fast.

IT was a success in spite of the massive headaches caused by the ridiculous traffic that saw 11 hours elapsed to travel the final 15 miles of the trip. It was a poorly run festival from a logistical stand-point, most of which can be excused because of the rain. I won’t excuse the port-o-let fiasco though. The music more than made up for it though. Phish is back, there is no mistaking that. However, I’m not sure my former zeal for them is. I guess I can chalk it up to getting older. I’m not the kid chock full of wanderlust anymore, and that is nt a bad thing. Not living so much in the past has been something I have been working on and for the most part, I am succeeding.

Being in Limestone for a third time certainly brought back memories from the Went and Lemonwheel. Although my reflection was hampered by the rain and delays that never really gave me the feeling I was settled in to the weekend. There was a moment though and it came during Reba. Sitting out in the beer garden, sun blaring in my face, I looked down at Tracy and the beautiful jam brought tears to my eyes. I realized how much I had been searching for love at the past junctures of my life that had brought me to Limestone and I realized just how fortunate a man I am. Fortunate to find the love of someone who makes my life complete. It is something I will never take for granted. I couldn’t have been happier to share that moment with her. It made the rest of the weekend pure icing on the cake.

Recovering from the weekend took a few days and I didn’t even go nearly as full-throttle as I have in the past. Another sign of aging I suppose. My job hunt needs to begin in earnest again. I do have an interview tomorrow for a job that would probably be very rewarding, but the pay is about $15,000 less than my last job. Nonetheless, it never hurts to interview. The previous two jobs I have interviewed for have not gotten back to me. A bad sign if I were gung-ho for the jobs, but also frustrating that I have not heard back one way or the other from them. But, the beat marches on and the need to sit down and figure out what I want in a job is a present need. Still, the summer has been a blast so far. Here’s to a great ending.